prepare for chaos

The US goes to the polls - Obama v McCain - expect chaos, cheating and much recounting. The latest perfumes say they will make you slimmer, sexier and brainier. Women with a high body mass index are more likely to have sex than those with a normal weight. In large parts of Britain it's now as easy to open a lap dancing club as it is a coffee shop. And according to the The Living Planet Report (by conservation groups the WWF, the Zoological Society of London and the Global Footprint Network) the planet is headed for an ecological "credit crunch. The document contends that our demands on natural resources overreach what the Earth can sustain by almost a third.

So there you have it. We are indeed doomed.